Meet my kids…

Some people have… actual kids… I have my four-legged, furred children. Hey, they’ll never lie to me and I won’t have to wait up for them all night while they’re out on dates or partying! And I’ll never have to worry about them taking drugs or having premarital sex. And I’ll never have to explain the birds and the bees to them (Cleo already knows–she was a mom before I adopted her.) Plus, I can leave them for up to four days with food while I go on a long weekend somewhere. They can take care of themselves. And, most importantly, they are always glad to see me when I come home. Pets make better kids than kids! In my opinion, anyway.

“I’m going to hold her and love her and squeeze her FOREVER.” Poor kitty! But she’s my baby, the docile one who lets me sleep with my arm over her all night like a teddy bear. This is my Nicki (aka Nikita Jolita). And, yes, that is Dr. McCoy in the background. He’s my boyfriend. Yup. (Okay, in my dreams, but still…)

This is Miss Cleo (aka Boogey, Boogita). You might have seen her infomercial, advertising her great prophetic skills in predicting your love life and confirming that, yes, your boyfriend is cheating on you. My Miss Cleo has the same proportions as the famous psychic-on-infomercial Miss Cleo. So that’s why it’s really impressive that she was able to squeeze herself through the hole in this cat tent because it’s smaller than her body. I wish I could have seen her doing this. I imagine the tent scooting along the wood floor as she pushes herself into that little hole. I realized at the moment I caught her in this tent that my house was probably a little too cold… So I pumped up the heat…

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