The following is from an email message Mike sent me while we were writing our wedding vows. I had questioned his use of the phrase “having no clear beginning” in the vows he’d written. For some reason, I was offended by that statement and did not understand what he meant by it.
Sent: Tues 6/29/1999:
How does one fall into love? Is it overt like running into a huge wall. No, it is more gradual, so it would have an ambiguous starting point. A clear beginning would be like saying Aug. 26, 1998 7:31:27 PM while eating Jerk Swordfish.* I mean you could say it started in the Kitchen at Chuck’s if you truly tracked every little thing back to the exact beginning.
So, just as a ring’s circle has no clear beginning, you can start anywhere. As you follow the loop around, the starting point becomes one of many points, of interest, on the loop.
I figured if anything we should question the infinity time reference since we both will die and that is it. Do you really want to pick apart the semantics of my vows. Anytime you use symbolism, you will end up with these issues. Always. Stop looking so hard at this, take a deep breath and stop putting so much pressure on your self. Just relax and close your eyes and visualize nothing. Then let the mind drift. BONG!!!!!!, sorry, started to fell like a ST episode. :)
* The reference to eating Jerk Swordfish refers to a meal we shared together on one of our first vacations together–St. John in the Virgin Islands. We went there for a week in August of 1998. We met each other in May of 1998, at the party of a friend named Chuck. Mike’s first sight of me, the one he always cited as the moment he decided he wanted to meet me, was when I was standing in the kitchen talking to friends after I’d just arrived. When telling this story, he always claimed I ignored him and he was trying to get my attention. I didn’t notice him until much later when we were playing volleyball. And it was his legs that caught my attention.