One for child services

My aunt Gabriella, Cousin Angy’s mom, just sent an email filled with pictures of my new “first cousin once removed” aka My Favorite Female Cousin’s New Son, Grayson Martin. Is this not a most blatant example of child abuse? Please tell me that if I ever have kids, I would not subject them to such torturous use of photography… Is it not bad enough that the clothes we consider “cool” right now will be outdated by the time our progeny grow up, causing them to voice disgust with how we dressed them (not unlike the brightly colored and grossly mismatched 1970s style clothes I’m wearing in many, many of my childhood pictures). I truly think this is why we rebel against our parents!


Can you see the shame in his eyes? He’s just screaming, “Mom, why did you put me in a little Santa suit? I’m helpless and can’t dress myself, and now look what you’ve done to me! Fodder for embarrassment when you show this to future girlfriends to whom I’m tried to present a ‘cool’ and ‘dignified’ image. Oh, the humanity of it!”

Okay, I admit that he is a cute little bugger. Maybe he won’t be too mad at his mom and grandma some day. But if he needs some solace from the shame, he can come to Aunt Mars Girl. I will understand.

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3 thoughts on “One for child services

  1. Don’t you worry, Grayson, I’m sure my twin nephews – who also had Christmas photos taken in pretty much the same outfits that you’re in – will join ranks and rise up with you one day. But if you think the santa suits are bad, just wait until February when your moms and grandmas will dress you up in diapers and cupid wings!!

  2. I think these kids are going to need a support group in the future… “Yes, my name is ____ and my parents used to dress me up in ridiculous outfits.” =)

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