Writer’s Conference Registration

Okay, I did it, I registered for the writer’s conference I spoke about in the last post. But please don’t hold it against me if I then do not end up doing anything with this knowledge. I don’t want anyone here to think I’m headed on the course to write my memoir on widowhood (instead of following the other loose-end of becoming a grief counselor)… I will try (“Do or do not; there is no try,” Master Yoda says) to focus my energies upon writing. I have to stop avoiding it. At least I’ve decided to check things out… again (this, of course, isn’t the first time).

Incidentally, if you’ve known me for more than two years, you’ll come to realize, I aggressively chase one career lead or another for several months, and then I drop back away in fear. It’s a never-ending cycle of trying to find myself, thinking I have, then backing away in fear of failure. I just need to sit down and write, as suggested by some of my commenters, and not worry about the outcome. If anything, my friends will all read what I’ve written. Maybe someone will publish it after I die. I always picture that happening–people cleaning up my house after I die and reading all my journals, then, deciding my writing is brilliant, they publish it. Ha. But I don’t really think I’m brilliant, I’m obviously just dreaming here. (So don’t think me conceited.)

I think I was inspired by Joanna’s immersion in the creative world when I visited her in Columbus. I don’t write poetry very often (I don’t think I’m very good) but poetry slams rock! And the poetry community is way cool, reminding me of my days as a liberal arts academic at Hiram. In those days, we were full of ideas, visions of our future, and grandiose thoughts about making the world a better place. I need to immerse myself in creativity for a little bit more balance between my physical obsessions (cycling, skiing) and my mental requirements (writing, spirituality).

Anyway, here’s a copy of my registration to prove it:

Registration was successful for the following class: 09SPER901.01
Writers Conference and Workshop, Spring 2009 Starts: 03/28/2009 Meets: Saturday:
8:30 AM-1:30 PM, 1 Session
Fee Summary: Registration
Fee $59.00 Total Amount: 59.00

6 thoughts on “Writer’s Conference Registration

  1. Every time I take a step it always seems like a huge mountain, but it turns out to be not that hard. I wrestle with all of these things that you are talking about and I understand intimately the struggle you are having, such as when I decide to join a new music group at a church (I’ve joined at least 3-4 in the past few years, and considered others). I was always terrified I wasn’t good enough, but I was actually just fine and sometimes more skilled than a lot of the other people there, and sometimes it took only a few weeks to get my feet wet before I started to do well. Sometimes the real skill is not having the skill itself but the willingness to use it. If I play really timidly I won’t sound as good as someone with less skills who is willing to belt it out. So I appreciate your concerns because I have the same ones, but I also know I don’t want to die without even trying to live out my dreams. I don’t want to work in a dead end job forever. And I realize that the journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one step and there really and honestly and truely isn’t a better time to start than now. Waiting for some magic moment when it is suddenly going to be easy is a waste. If I have some internal resistance, I need to work through that. I just got to a point where it is not going to happen unless I actually do something about it, and I get mad when I see 20-something’s who are farther along in their dream than I am in mine.

  2. Well, I have really been reaping the benefits of your visit, because I have been LOVING all the BSG haiku! And I am so glad to hear that you’ve registered for the conference. Way to go!

  3. Joanna, Oh yes, I totally dropped the ball on the BSG haiku. I have to absorb last week’s episode again–so much info thrown at us–before I can compose adequate haiku to relate the experience. There was just too much there!! I’ll have to rewatch tonight and try to write some. I was having fun writing the BSG Epic in Haiku.Frank, to your point about the 20-somethings further along, I hear you!! I was just mentioning to Di today how much Facebook depresses me when I hook up with people from high school or college who all seem to be doing more exciting things in life. It’s not just the whole “having a family” thing (which I’m pretty sure I won’t be doing) but it frustrates me to see people in better spots with themselves. I can’t help the unexpected death of my husband, but I sure could be making better time with myself as far as my dreams go.

  4. Yeah. And like I said, I can relate to all of your frustrations, because I have them, too. But at the end of the day you either do it or you don’t. No one said it would be easy. But living my current lifestyle isn’t easy, either. At some point I just say I’m going to do it reglardless of the challenges, and if I wait for someone to hold my hand and walk me through it, then I really need to be honest with myself and realize that it would most like not happen if I wait on that.By the way, I had a weird, scary dream that Darth Vader was chasing me. I was unarmed, but able to run pretty fast, but I was trying to evade him… I think I was in a hospital, maybe it was like a starship or something. For the most part, he didn’t know where I was, but I was afraid he could sense me and if he found me I wouldn’t have many defenses.

  5. … I was just narrowly escaping his notice at times, running fast and trying to duck out of his way… very scary dream, it felt real… one of those where when I wake up it takes me a second to realize it was just a dream.

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